Majority Rules

The concept of "Majority Rules" is pretty well understood by most I think, especially those of us who had siblings with whom we argued endlessly over dinner choices, tv programs, candy flavors, and anything else we could think of. Eventually, one of us would put the question to a vote, and it would be decided. "Majority rules!" the victor would exclaim.

This line of thinking is literally elementary. However, until the other night, I had not fully made the connection to teenage (and pre-teen) social dynamics. 

Our friend Louie, an 12 year old boy who has this year entered the dark and scary world of junior high, was recently explaining to me the different "classes" by which students are categorized in junior high and through high school. I find it fascinating that the dynamics are so similar 10, 20 years later. I suppose I shouldn't be quite so shocked that this generation mirrors mine and the ones before it. 

Though I have since matured in my value judgments of myself and others, I must admit that I took rejection very personally in high school. I had been pegged a "nerd" at some point in Junior High and the label seemed to follow me, preventing me from experiencing the acceptance and "popularity" that at the time, I thought would fill the void in me. 

Why, I wondered, do people pick on the higher performing students? Since when is being smart a bad thing? Then it hit me. Majority rules. Look at the top 5% in your typical American high school. They seem so busy with academia and each other, they hardly notice that other people treat them poorly. Most of them in fact seem content with their position. And who are those that attack them? It seems that it's the students on the other end of the scale, the bottom 25% or so, that terrorize those at the top. And because there are more students in the bottom 25% than the top 5%, majority rules, and the rest of the students follow along. All of the sudden the ranks are flipped, and those at the bottom are now the most powerful, socially speaking that is. But aha! The moment of realization. The majority has only ruled on the treatment of these so called "nerds." Their personal worth, societal value, who they are and who they might become one day, is not in question. Didn't everyone still recognize that they would most likely succeed? Our judgment then seems to be attacking the value of success itself. I suppose that would explain why so many of these "popular" kids end up making so little of their lives. Their denial of success as a goal goes beyond high school, just as the brains and work ethic of high performing students tend to afford them opportunities that average and low-performing students will never know.

I recently learned of a Japanese video game that simulates high school - only in this game, the better students are also the most popular. Hmm, maybe American teenagers have some things to learn from the Japanese....

On Creationism, Baptism, and Dinosaurs

WARNING! It is not my intent to alienate anyone with my blog. I simply want to share my experiences and a few amusing antecdotes. So I will preface this story with a cautionary statement: For my religious friends and family members, this post contains scientific logic that may offend you.

Having been force-fed religious ideology from about the age of 6 until I moved out on my own at 18, I have been determined to let my son enjoy the religious freedom so promised us by our forefathers. I held tightly to the hope that the would be able to individuate from the differing opinions of those he knew and respected. I imagined him spending his childhood gathering information, perhaps taking his adolescent years to ponder and reflect, and by the time he reached adulthood I figured he would have a good idea what he believed and what his truths were. Therefore, I did not object when my father invited Jeremiah to go to church with him. It wasn't long before I began to wonder if there was really such a thing as an objective understanding of God and his dealings with man. When Jer informed me that I was going to "the telestial kingdom" (mormon-speak for hell") because I occasionally had a glass of wine or beer with dinner, I became concerned. I will admit that I celebrated a small victory the day he came home from church and tearfully asked me what I would do if God asked me to sacrifice my only son (why they teach the story of Abraham & Isaac to 7 year olds, I do not know). I held him close and reassured him that if such a request were ever made of me, I would tell God to go suck an egg. He laughed and hugged me, then ran off to play. For about the next 8 months he attended church with my father and other family members off and on, though would sometimes opt to stay home or attend a party or other engagement in lieu of church. There wasn't any more talk of hell, alcohol, or human sacrifice, so I relaxed and did my best to let him enjoy himself, figuring he would come to me if he had questions.
Then he turned 8, which according to the mormon religion, is the "age of accountability" and therefore the age at which children can be baptized and make their "covenants" with God. For those that are unfamiliar with this concept, I'll offer a simplified explanation: in exchange for eternal life, a proverbial "get out of hell free" card, and the constant companionship of the holy spirit, children pledge their faith and 10% of all future earnings. Additionally, they promise to keep the commandments of the church, or at least repent when they fail to do so. Baptism for Mormons is a BIG DEAL, sort of a right of passage. Missionaries, evangelists, and other overzealous members compare stats to measure success, sort of like the Facebook friend-tracker ("Who's here because of YOU?"). So you can imagine that having an unbaptized 8-year old in a mormon church is sort of like bringing a juicy steak to a pack of hungry junkyard dogs.
Whether or not I think it's beneficial, I can understand a small child (especially one whose father is absent) finding comfort in the idea that an all-powerful magnificent man in the sky is watching out for him and keeping him safe. Therefore I did my best not to discourage Jeremiah from that notion, if that was what he chose to believe. When he told me he wanted to be baptized because "it sounds like fun," I told him I wanted to make sure he understood what exactly he was signing up for, so he would have to go through the same process as a teen or adult convert. We signed up for the missionary discussions and he began to learn what it was all about. I kept a careful ear out for any topics that seemed to be left out. At first I was satisfied by their candor, but then we came to the subject of creation. I kept quiet as they explained their theories to him, and waited. Two nights later he approached me in the kitchen as I was washing dishes. "Mom, I have a question."
Me: "What is it, bud?"
Jer: "How did Jesus create the earth in the beginning if he wasn't born until the New Testament?"
Me: "Well, Christians believe that Jesus was here as a spirit long before he came to earth as a man."
Jer: "So, how long ago was he here?"
Me: "About 2000 years" (I went on to explain the gregorian calendar and BC vs. AD)
Jer: "So how long before he was here did he make the earth?"
Me: "According to the church, less than 100,000 years. But scientists believe the earth was formed billions of years ago."
He remembers the Rube Goldberg video I showed him on evolution the previous year. "So if the earth is really only 100,000 years old, how could the dinosaurs have been here?"
His question gave me pause. How did they explain dinosaurs? I couldn't remember ever being given a definition explanation. "I think some people just don't think about it. Others question whether dinosaurs ever existed."
Jer: "Well then where did all those bones come from?"
Me: "Some people think the dinosaurs were here at the same time as humans."
Jer stood there and stared at me a moment, his mouth gaped open. Then he put his hand on his hip. "Well, that's just Stupid."
I did my best to hold back a laugh. "Don't look at me, you're the one who wants to join them!"
"Well, so much for that" he said and dashed out of the room to go play with his legos.
WHEW! Thank "god" for the inquisitive nature of small minds, and the very basic level of logic that my now-8-1/2-year old seems to possess. Somehow I knew he would figure it out. The force is strong with this one. :)